Recognizing patterns

When we're depressed we tend to get caught in the state of self-pity. "Poor me." We wonder why life has dealt us the genetics we have and question why everybody else is happy but us. It seems that there's no way we can get out from the blanket of despair and we become hopeless. Lack of motivation plagues our days and energy gradually evaporates like a puddle in a heat wave. Some even forget how they became so sad and lethargic and it's a very dark place to be.

We have to understand that there's a reason we feel this way and most often it stems from our repeated behaviors. The depression comes from a way of life that we have fallen into. Nobody notices the slow descent into this state of being and it's hard to remember how we got there. The first step to climbing out of the funk is to realize what is causing the sadness.

At the root of all depression is our thinking. Our mind is full of negative, self-sabotaging thoughts that imprison us in a perpetual state of hopeless self-pity producing a distorted outlook on life. The view we have of ourselves is essential in building our self esteem and moving towards happiness. Depressed people tend to constantly make assumptions. "That person doesn't like me." "I'll never be able to do that." We question our ability to do things and then we build a belief that we are not good enough and less than. That belief generates thoughts that are self-critical and pessimistic and the more we believe them the stronger the belief becomes.

Self-talk is the most important part of reversing our depression. Negative self-talk equals low confidence and low self-worth. In order to be happy we have to first be able to like ourselves. How can we like ourselves if we're always putting ourselves down? The first rule of positive thinking is: don't beat yourself up. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. We are used to overacting to things we perceive we have done wrong and tearing ourselves down, overanalyzing every little detail of our day and magnifying the negative things. We completely overlook any positive things or if we do notice them they are minimized.

Giving credit where credit is due is crucial. If we don't then we are simply refusing to acknowledge the good things we do. Dismissing something is basically believing that it didn't happen. We have to tell ourselves we did a good job when we actually did. Even if it wasn't that good of a job we can still say it was a good effort.

Recognizing the negative thinking we have is the first step in attaining happiness. Recognition is the birth of awareness.