Pema Chodron wrote a book called "Start Where You Are". It talks about letting go of all the unnecessary baggage we carry around. We carry around guards because we don't want people to see who we really are. We're afraid of judgement. Even if we recognize that everyone else is playing a role we still can't separate from our roles because what would other people think if we did that? People see us a certain way and we think it is hard to change that because we've played the role for so long. It seems daunting to make a change because we can't picture the outcome. We can't picture how we would be received by other people. And it's comfortable to stick with the habits and behaviors we're accustomed to.
The first thing to understand is that this is a gradual process. Making the first attempt to change is incredibly significant because starting something can often be the most difficult thing to do. Recognizing the negative thinking is the first thing to do. Once you do that you have already made a giant leap towards happiness. Becoming aware of the ego and it's many faces is so important because just from the awareness it loses power. We can realize that we have started a change in our life that really hasn't made a difference in how we act yet. It is so little but huge at the same time. It's a change that happens over time we can comprehend that everyone, ourselves included, has time to adapt to the new way of life. If everything happened at once then nobody would understand what happened. It would seem so foreign if all of the sudden we were happy....even we wouldn't know what to do. Soon we would fall back into our old way of thinking and living because we wouldn't understand how we got to the point of happiness.
The gradual molding of our behavior needs to be done one step at a time so we can learn what we we do wrong and how the new way is much more conducive to a positive life.
When we learn the new ways it is still a challenge to pry away from old habits that we have become so familiar with. We feel secure with what we know. Even if it's miserable and torturous. We don't know anything else. Happiness comes with being vulnerable and that is the last thing most people want to do. If we experience anything good and are removed from our ego by chance, we negative thoughts return and we succumb automatically. We close off from the world and return to the cocoon of security and comfort which is usually our misery produced by our ego.
It's a process and requires a commitment. Why would we not undertake this chance to grow? The alternative is to suffer.
I've decided to end each of my posts with a reminder of one of the biggest tools to transform your old habits and transcend your ego. THIS IS MEDITATION! I meditate every day. It is life changing. Sit down for a few minutes when you have time and clear your mind. There is no wrong way to meditate. Let the thoughts come and be AWARE of the when they become negative. Just the awareness will help evaporate them. Replace them with positive ones and you can use a mantra if you want.
Eventually you want to focus on the gaps between your thoughts and the goal is to keep extending the gap. Thoughts will come and just acknowledge them. Then let them go.
A GOOD way to reach a meditative state quickly is through monaural beats.
Check some out Here
You have to start somewhere. Start wherever you are.
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